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Monday, February 11, 2013

Memoirs with Jeremy



As I travel my path since April 2011 I have had many curves, potholes and passage ways that I have had to learn to maneuver creating opportunities to be strong enough to hold fast to my personal journey.

I am learning to stay on track and take the lighted pathway.  I have learned to not stay in Midnight when that path leads to darkness; I have learned to stay in the light where life and love abounds.

I have learned to focus on powerful intentions of focusing on my son’s transition of energy and returning “home”; completing his own journey, living life his way.  I try always to stay away from his physical departure and concentrate on where he is now in a lovely place of joy and love

I fell into apathy at the inception of “our tragedy”; I didn’t care much about anything other than my daughter and her family.  There was not an ounce of passion for anything except for the love of my family.  I have had to learn a new normal, creating a life that I can implement my new learned skills of survival and being a pathfinder in what is a most challenging life for me now.

I have and am still learning to be my authentic self and not carry the burden of my cross where it can be seen, keeping it in the shadows of my heart where grief is becoming compatible to a new kind of love for life; a gratitude and thankfulness for the gift of life. 

I am so thankful I am Jeremy’s mom; it is the most precious gift I have been given and I would do it all again to be part of his physical life and have the blessing of sharing that with him. 

I thought I was appreciative before of having the blessing of parenting both my children and now the pleasure of my daughter and her family has reached new heights; the depth, breadth of my soulful and humble appreciation and love for my family is much more intense and from the soul.

I stand in a new reality today.  My entire life was turned upside down.  I am the same person but with a new appreciation for what remains and what is really important in our journey.  I thought that my perception of love, life and light was healthy before my son’s transition, but I have since learned so much in terms of respecting other’s journey and loving and honoring the spirit that resides within them, from the soul wishing the best of intentions for everyone everywhere. 

I have the will to live, to be a strong Marine mom and hopefully a pillar of light to those who are lost in their darkest hours by sharing my journey in hopes that some small morsel will breathe life into even one person who is in need of a helping hand out of their Midnight.

I pray that we all reach our full potential while we travel our individual journey intersecting with each other along the way and that the gift of life and love be our priorities one to the other.

Namaste,

In love and understanding,

Sandra xx

I write from a loving connection to the beautiful energy and spirit of my son and the Universal Love of God.

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