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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy

I have given much thought regarding my visitations from my son over the last year plus.  I was in the beginning given; perhaps allowed many visits from Jeremy.  I have shared these visitations with you albeit they were more frequent in the beginning days. 

I am in no way an Edgar Cayce, Sylvia Browne or a John Edwards; although admittedly I wish I were that sensitive to the supernatural.  I have been all my life a little more “tuned in” than most of my friends and family and have experienced other visits from the other side of the veil; even dark spirits but the majority have been light beings.  I do not know how to account for the dark spirits except that they are very intimidating, but only if you let them; at least my visits were like that and I can only speak for my own personal experiences.  I have seen angels; beautiful, large and some even had wings.  I have visited with my dad shortly after his transition and for about two years had frequent awareness of his presence.  However; I saw my dad right after his passing and the vision I had of him was in a totally different form than when I saw my grandmother; my dad’s mom.  I have spoken with them on separate occasions; never together.  There was a man with my dad when I saw him in the spirit realm, I believe it was my grandfather but only because he “looked familiar”. 

I was never given the revelation as to who was with my dad but it was a very loving and familiar stance they had together; I am as sure as I can be that it was my dad’s dad, but it has never been confirmed.  My dad spoke to me to let me know “I am okay, sweetie.  I am okay”.   Again, the form they had was totally different from my grandmother and my son has altogether had an entirely different nonphysical form and actually has come to me in different ways. 

Jeremy has chosen many various ways in communicating to me; with me.  Later on in his transition the visuals began to be dimmer but his voice remained.  Now that time has gone on he has chosen different ways to communicate with me and only occasionally I hear his voice now.  Although, I sense his presence at times but it is not as strong as in the beginning of his transition and my despair.

What I am taken back to is that as my son’s visits were less frequent he started focusing on telling me that we are connected and will be always.  That he will always be here for me to help me to stay out of midnight but to also help guide me for a time.  I have no idea how long or often that might be.  What I do know is that I have to learn to withstand this on my own and not be dependent on my son to carry me through this the rest of my journey.

I have been told by someone extremely close to me who was told by another person that saw into the spirit realm is that our loved ones that cross over take on new responsibilities and become involved and actually very busy in their new life.  I have been told that some choose to stay in the nonphysical and that some choose to come back to “further their physical form life experiences”.

I have been told by many that they too have had visitations from their loved ones but chose to never speak of it.  I know I have been criticized for speaking of my many visits from Jeremy and believe that others do not share for fear of being looked upon as though they perhaps have lost their bearings. I have been told by a few moms that they only had one visit from their child and wished for more, others have had several and there are so many more stories told and some not shared but perhaps very privately.

My sole purpose in my “Memoirs with Jeremy” has been to reach out to other parents, families and all the loved ones to say that they do live on and they have not died – they are not d e a d.  I spoke of Jeremy being d e a d once with a friend and was very much corrected by my son who said to me “Mom, I am not dead, I am alive”….. It was a reminder because I too sometimes focus on that he isn’t here in the physical realm and that is when midnight starts claiming me.   

I believe more than anything that I have been allowed these visitations so that I might share these visits with other parents that are in the same anguish that I am in for it is tormenting.

Anyone that knows me also knows that I put all my cards on the table, speak my mind and generally don’t hold back much.  So, I want to shout it to the roof tops……. If you have lost a child they are more alive than we are in this earthly realm and from all I have read and researched that when they do transition it is so beautiful and peaceful and so full of love that they really don’t want to come back to this planet earth.  Some, I have understood, have not been allowed to stay and had to return to complete their journey.  My idea on that is for the same reason I share with you today; to say to you – there is another dimension much greater and infinite and beautiful than where we are today.

Jeremy has shared with me that the dimension he is in is so beautiful, loving and extraordinary that there are no earthly words to describe where he is and how glorious it is.

I have shared my grief and its process in hopes to help those who have just lost their child, some children and other’s entire families.  I have wanted to reach out and help because I know for me the smallest word or phrase can give me hope, courage and/or strength to go forward.

But today, as I pondered that it has been a little bit since I have actually heard my son’s voice (and as I did – I heard his deep voice to say only – we are connected Mom); I realized that my purpose has been two-fold. 

In my need to share my grief I also came away with some healing so perhaps that has been totally something from my place of agony I needed to do.  But, I do know without a doubt that my sharing that Jeremy is alive and well; happy and vibrant on the other side of the veil; that my journaling and memoirs have meant to be shared to give other parents a semblance of peace that their children live on.

I have never meant to be boastful or egocentric about my son’s visitations.  Yes, I loved them and yes I needed them and yes I have told anyone that would listen, but only that they too might reach for that little glimmer of light across the veil to know within themselves their loved ones; although not in the physical realm are definitely just through this very thin veil smiling and loving us and always being watchful over us.

Please do not worry if you haven’t heard or seen from your child or loved one, it doesn’t mean that they do not want to contact you.  I believe that each one that has crossed over has tried to let their families know they are better than okay.  I know for me and my daughter we were told that we were grieving so hard that Jeremy could not get through to us; I imagine each situation and circumstances are different one from the other.

When I did hear this I made myself snap out of midnight and listen and decided; actually made my mind up that if Jeremy could contact someone else to give me a message then he could contact me as well.  Hence; I made myself available and open.  There wasn’t one thing mysterious, highly spiritual or magical to make it happen; it is that I opened a portal if you will for communication.  I saw it has a conduit one to the other and I wanted and needed it more than I have anything in my life.  I simply trusted that he would and could contact me and others.  I would not liken it to sitting down and having a conversation with someone; but it is a spirit to spirit communication; otherwise worldly.

I am still learning of the grief process – there’s not a formula for that either.  It is time and more time and more time – I suspect forever, but eventually this devastation will be manageable.

I pray that I have other supernatural visits from my son.  I know he has shared with me to reach out also to some that are very close and again – even for those of you who know nothing of us.  Just to say – “We are in a beautiful and loving place and are doing very well.”

I bare it all in hopes that it helps you, in love and understanding,

Sandra xx

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