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Monday, April 30, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy


I have been reflecting on the year since my son’s transition.  It in some ways feels as though time as stood still, yet in the same breath it seems as though the tragedy that has befallen my family was yesterday.  I know that in the spirit realm there is no time or space yet on the earthly plane everything is based on time and space.  What is space?  It is everything yet it is a no thing.  I look about my room and think that it is filled with furniture yet without space there could be no furniture in this room.  I feel the spirit realm, the Universal Mind and Love of God is infinite space and time coming full circle with my earthly life span finishing my journey I will embrace my son once again.  I am impatient for that at times yet I know that I have a purpose to fulfill and my daughter and grands are too important for me not to leave a loving imprint on their lives.  I pray I do that well.

There have been so many transformations for me.  As I reflect regarding the inception of the tragic news we received I felt as though I would never be able live through such a tragic and horrific loss.  But I see that step by step, some have been tiny and slow yet I have been able to endure a year.  My main growth has spun me into searching frantically in the spirit world for my son.  I didn’t have to go far; he has been through this hell with me literally holding me up and whispering in my head, sometimes with a shout to be heard, “you can do this Mom, you can do this…”   It is only be the grace of God that parents and siblings truly survive this.

There have been so many changes with friends, some I have known most of my life, and they don’t know what to say or do with me so they just don’t call.  There are some who stuck with me in the beginning like glue, but they have their own lives to live and as they should.

However; I have been sent new friends.  It is true what is said in the Bible, you never know if you are entertaining an angel.  I will say that my new friends are just that – angels, beautiful angels that are loving, supporting, truly care and check in on me to see if I am ok and help me and support me in every way they can.  I don’t think I have ever in my lifetime met such genuine and caring angels before.  I am astounded when they leave for I feel nothing but pure lighted love.  I know that God sent them to my door and there is no doubt in my mind that they were handpicked by my son.  Jeremy knew who he could trust with me; it was a wee process but my new angel friends are a perfect match for me.  I am so thankful for them for many reasons, but I have basically have had to endure the past year alone with no support system and the timing of the knock on the door was perfect.

I have had visits from my son that have helped me stay strong, feeling God’s loving hand on me has kept me safe and my two companions who are four-legged take care of me.  So in these ways I haven’t been totally alone, but it is wonderful to have the friends who are pure of heart, kind, honest and with integrity.  I am so proud to be accepted by them and they feel as though they are family to me.

Time, space and angels are part of our life on earth.   I have had glimpses of angels in the spirit realm, they are so beautiful, but I want to confirm that there are angels who are in the physical realm that God sends our way.  Be careful when someone knocks on your door and be kind because that may be your angel in life as well.

When I have spoken to others about Jeremy’s transition and what form he has taken in the Spirit realm; everyone seems to “see” him as a Warrior Angel, very tall, walking with authority and a fierce yet loving demeanor.  I have seen his golden energy, I have felt just yesterday his arms tenderly around me as though my head was on his chest because the pain was so unbearable, I knew he would comfort me, he has before and I know I can also count on my angel in the heavenly realm.

I love all my angels, I love the spirit, and I love being one with the Universal Mind and Love of God.

I love you also dear parents who are suffering and I reach out to you from where I have been and am now; it is the only thing I know to do to try to bring a little comfort to your broken heart and I pray that I am blessed enough to reach someone somewhere.

In love and understanding from my soul,

Sandra xx

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