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Sunday, April 1, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy

It is hard times and long days for me right now.  The only thing that I can reiterate is that being in thanksgiving of the Universe, Mother Nature and the Universal Mind are the only things keeping me balanced with peace and some comfort.

I feel as though my contact with Jeremy isn’t as strong but then I remember I was impressed to go to my computer and go to meditation cds and the first one that I came to my son “impressed me” to buy this specific meditation cd for his sister; he told me that it would be good for her to begin her “soft yoga” again and that this particular meditation cd would bring her a lot of healing.  I did just that and then was reminded that the cd and a book I have would go hand in hand.  So, he is still guiding me and it feels good that it is a way that I can reach out and bring comfort and healing to others.

I remembered this today when I was in one of my low energy moments and realized that Jeremy is still working through me and with me and I am thrilled and thankful that I can be a conduit for him.

Five days away are we to face Jeremy’s transition day; bracing myself as I know how difficult it will be for me and the family.  I have a few things in mind to hopefully feel as though I can celebrate that he has started a new journey and will have new adventures and fly free as a dove.

I am having to practice and remind myself to do so; don’t go to Midnight, stop your thoughts right there – don’t go any further; be thankful and grateful for what remains, go for a walk and take in the Universe and what a miracle that everything especially birth truly are.  Again, this isn’t a formula, but it is what keeps me strengthened and helps me to continue to go forth.

I am learning that my dreams are carrying a lot of meaning – prophetic if you will.  They are more in the last few weeks’ encouragement of a things unexpectedly coming my way and to be patient that I will be able to breathe again.

I remember also to peel back those layers as though I am going through an onion and get through the layers of forgiveness, love, and acceptance.  I also know that at this time I need to especially take care of myself and keep myself from harm and any kind of emotional injuries.  So I will distance myself and set boundaries to protect my progress and heart; I know that I can love, forgive and accept others without having to participate in their journey; for mine is taking me elsewhere.

I do so love and appreciate my four-legged children; they take such good care of me, love me unconditionally and worry and fret over me and give me much attention and love and know exactly when it is needed; some days a lot more than others.

All we can do dear parents is to go forward, grieve as we need to, take care of ourselves nutritionally, find joy even if it is a songbird and be thankful for all those who remain with us and learn to be thankful and grateful for everything that the Universe has manifested for us.  Even though our children are not in the physical realm to enjoy these things with us; I know they wish happiness and joy for us and are watching over each and every one to help us to move forward and learn to live around our tragedies.

Although this is not a tragedy we get over or through, but I have been told that in time we will learn a way to live “with” it; and we will find the spiritual wisdom, strength and rhythm to go forward to complete our journeys.

Again, let’s do this as champs for our children who are still with us and for our children who are watching over us.

In love and deep, deep understanding,

Sandra xxoo

Proud Mom of Ssgt. Jeremy D. Smith USMC 03-09-85 – 04-06-11

The day my son left for Camp Pendleton to prepare for his deployment to Afghanistan

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