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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy


The rains in Texas have washed all the trees clean and they are brilliant green, the ground cover is reaching toward the sky as in thanksgiving for the rain that has quenched their thirst.  The plants and flowers are beginning to bud with new life again this year whereas some of them lie dormant throughout winter and with fragility appear and as in any new birth will grow and blossom; springing forth with life.

I look out my window and see all the rejuvenation of the Universe and it is so beautiful and awesome to behold.  It is mesmerizing to think how God has planned every little detail to bath the earth, quench her thirst and the chain of events of plant life, wildlife, moon, sun and stars.  It is all truly a miracle to me.

I felt the same way when my children were born; what a miracle.  I was and have always been so very thankful to be the Mom of my children and I still to this very day thank God for the blessing and opportunity to be their mom.  I had my children late in life and they actually were not planned but came to me by the grace of God.  If I have ever done anything right in my life it is without a doubt my children.  We are like any family with ups and downs but the closeness we have and the loyalty to each other is very special and intense.  I am very thankful and grateful that they have blessed my life and have touched my soul and heart as they have.

From birth they sprung forth and each year they blossomed more and they have both become very wonderful adults.  I could not ask for more; my children are a perfect fit for me. 

I would, of course, ask for more time with my son, but for whatever the reason and the season; he is not meant to be here at this time.  I would have loved to have seen him blossom further in things as in his first new home, children, and furthering his education.  But, Jeremy was so full of life and wisdom and extremely soulful; I suppose he matured into completion for this lifetime.  He has set the bar high for us all; we have much to live up to regarding his example.

I would like to share that I believe I am correct in the fact that when I am in my hard core grief that my energy level is so low that Jeremy cannot contact me.  I had a couple of things happen over the course of a few days that raised my energy level and I began to feel his presence again.  In fact, this morning his “words” to me were “I will never leave you Mom”.

I wish I knew more about quantum physics and how you can be in several places at the same time.   That is so hard for me to wrap my mind around; yet I know that Jeremy is definitely multi-tasking.

It is so wonderful to feel his presence and again remind me that he is just in another dimension; right through the veil, a whisper away.

These are very hard days with his transition day right around the corner, but he and God have given me even more strength and are supporting me and showing me love.  Thank you God, light beings, angels and Jeremy that you are helping me and lighting my path, thank you for all you have done and shown me.

Even though at this time life seems to have stopped and I feel as though I am in a holding pattern; I am reminded with all the splendor of spring that life does and will go on.  I know one day I will go forward a little more as time goes by.  It just seems so foreign to me to think that I have outlived my son and it will take more time to come to terms with that; yet I know I will; for me, for Jeremy and for my daughter and grands.

Again, I hope to make my children proud and do this as a champion. 

In love and understanding,

Sandra xx

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