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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy

I have a few thoughts that I wanted to share with those of you who have lost children and if you are feeling the same as me; I feel lost in life without my son.  I ask myself each day where do I go from here, how do I have a life and I find myself searching constantly for Jeremy.

I think that is why I am constantly on a spiritual search now because I know that Jeremy's spirit is in the nonphysical realm and I want to learn everything I can whilst here on earth.  In this quest to learn more of Spirit I find it dons new desires spiritually and I find that I am wanting that purpose to continue which is a far cry from not wanting to go forward.  So I ask continually, what is my purpose now?  All I have ever known was being a mom to my children which has been the most fulfilling opportunity I have ever had.

On days that I can "breathe" I let my desires flow knowing that the true desire of my heart is on the other side of this physical realm, however; knowing too that I must continue my journey, find my new path and make all the necessary and painful adjustments to head toward a new destination and direction.

What I know for sure is that this new quest will most definitely require new ideas, renewed strength and qualities I am just now facing.  I never knew obtaining a different future; a new normal would be so devastatingly hard.  But as I have spoken of being a champion I know these new qualitites will be what fine tunes me and help me finish my journey until the day my son and I reunite in the heavenly realm.

I have so many questions about that.  What I know for sure is that I cannot fathom anything but being my son and my daughter's mom through eternity.  I love being their mom.

May the Light of Spirit shine on our darkest days and on our paths so that we may continue our journey and be champs like our children.

God Bless and with love and understanding
Sandra xx

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