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Thursday, January 5, 2012

January 5, 2012

I am reminding myself of my son's pearls of wisdom.  Planted my feet on the floor, took care of my four-legged kids; making a routine once again.  Have had a routine of counting my blessings as soon as I wake but since April it's been hard to do.  I am trying to not stay focused on what has been taken but be in a heartfelt gratitude for that which remains.  I have done so intermittently, but today I accomplished it once again.  My son truly wants me to have a "fresh approach" to our tragedy.

I count all my blessings and ask for help to start living outside my head.  To be in the moment, to learn how to be in the NOW.  To live outside myself; my grief. I don't want to just get through the day but make it count for something

Again, it is not what you do it is how you do it.  I know grief is a totally different level, but it is a process and it is about getting through a day without total collapses, breakdowns, meltdowns and crying day and night.

Mind you this is not easy for me, but with my son's help, God's helping hand and the energy at my core then I have two choices; I choose to live and if I choose to live then I have to go through this. 

My decision today is if I'm gonna go through this; I will do so like a champion.

(My son is an American Hero and a champion and it dawned on me that he fought for what he believes in; then I too must fight for me and also for you to continue our journeys so that we can continue to defend our beliefs and our country too.)

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