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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Memoirs with Jeremy



Hard core reality settles into your bones and joints the day after the transition day of your loved one….one year later.  There are no words to describe how an entire year has gone by and you are faced with the empty seat at the table, still wanting and needing the smile and laughter that is unique to your loved one, the space that once held your beloved; is just that space, empty space.

I had my own personal memorial day with my son.  I did this alone; as I have many milestones over the past year.  My daughter and son (in-law) came by today to honor Jeremy with me and it made all the difference in the world and put some healing in these bones and joints.  I felt 100 years old when I woke up this morning and was in total awe that I survived another day without my precious son.

Well, I did, I have and I will continue going forth on my spiritual journey.  His beloved sister and brothers and dad made it through another life altering day as survivors.  The sorrow is too deep to comprehend; we are all in sync that will we wish nothing but to bring honor to my son; Ssgt. Jeremy D. Smith.

Our lives have stopped one year ago yesterday; we have not healed from the devastation of the absence of his essence that he brought into our lives.  Yet we do move forward in this devastating tragedy; one tiny little step at a time; although it sounds paradoxical, it is complicated, confusing and totally painful spirit, soul and body.

As a family, we want to honor him, keep his memory alive and all at the same time let him fly free as a bird.  For he is loved deeply, purely and unconditionally.  We understand why he chose to go this last tour for the young men he died for and battled with. 

With that said we respect his choice and love him deeper and more each day; because his unselfish act of giving his life for his country and his men made him an angel and a man’s man all wrapped into one soul.

I love you son and miss you and feel the empty place on the earth plane where you once were.  However; I do feel you in spirit and still hear you in spirit and know you are our guardian angel.

It is still painful, although your immediate family has grown spiritually because of you.  We are in anticipation as to where you will guide and lead us over this next year.

Thank you for watching over us and for the choices you have made to confirm that you live on in another dimension and that you are a breath away when we need you.

I love and respect you so very much son, as a man, as a brave Marine.  Thank you for your sacrifice and thank you for all the blessings you bestow on us and for bringing honor and pride to our family.

I love you son, immutably and infinitely, Mom xxoo






 

I wish to keep my spiritual portals open at all times.  I want to continue learning from my Source and become one with the Universal Mind and Spirit; knowing that thoughts do become things and that the purity of life and energy springs forth from the inner core; our soul level, our Source.  I desire to be connected to all things with the Universal Love of God and be a champion for Jeremy.  I pray that I become one With the Universal Mind of God and when I am united with my son I will come through as a champion and God will say to me that he knew the hardship and the heartache, but job well done.
I know to accomplish this I must breathe, drink plenty of water and eat more natural foods, not let my mind and thoughts control me and let my Spirit from my soul level be my guide, my teacher and mentor.  I know I must be in a spirit of love, kindness and acceptance and to always remember to respect everyone’s journey and the path they are travelling.

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